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By Aidan Kushner: The Harken-Millgram Oil company offices have a new policy for their employees. They have forbidden having bowel movements in the bathrooms. Now if employees must relieve themselves they are required to go outside. According to CEO Mr. Harken Millgram, “We feel awful about the pollution we are causing with our oil product.Continue reading “Office Workers Crap Outside”
By: Calder Mansfield “The heartwarming tale of four bros looking for love–if women would just stop being such whores” We all know Darren Star as the creator of Emily in Paris and Sex and the City. Despite both America and France deeming Emily in Paris, “an unholy abomination that spits upon the flags of AmericaContinue reading “Movie Review: Incel in the City”
By: Holly Day With Halloween being a few weeks ago, Christmas is just around the corner. So what are you waiting for? If you don’t get up right now and buy something for everyone you know, then you’re gonna be empty handed when the ol’ 12/25 comes rolling around. You don’t want that to happenContinue reading “FCC BANS ALL CHRISTMAS MEDIA UNTIL DAY AFTER BLACK FRIDAY”
“Is this not the registrar?”-A PURCHASE STUDENT WHO IS NOW DEAD
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