By: Calder Mansfield

In an interview held last week, Trump was asked about what his plans will be for police reform. To which he replied:
“Police Reform? We have a plan. Absolutely we have a plan. It’s a great plan. What is it? Well it was going to be a surprise but I guess I can tell you. So, basically you all know Detroit is in financial ruins. Lot of big huge companies have taken it over. I don’t know all of them, but I’ve heard this Omni Consumer Products is filled with bad guys… very bad men. Maybe antifa. Who knows? I don’t know…you don’t know. They’re taking power away from me and we’re not even sure if they’re human. They call them rehabs. If you haven’t run into one of these rehab guys, consider yourself lucky. I heard one beat up an old woman. Terrible news that absolutely no one is talking about. You don’t hear it on Fake News. Biden isn’t talking about old women. I alone can solve this–we have a Super Cop. He’s tremendous. This man was training for the Space Force and had a little accident. But this was a happy accident. He did lose all of his limbs, but he has no memory of it. So, Super Cop, no crime. Problem solved.”
When asked further about the budgeting for the Super Cop Pence commented,
“Now, our plan is new and it is safe and it is Christian. We have dismantled every elementary music program in the nation thereby ensuring the funding for Robo–pardon me, Super Cop.”
Our team of fact checkers has now confirmed that the much discussed Super Cop plan is in fact just the plot of Robo Cop 3.