By Cally Mansfield
Ummm what’s the deal purchase?? Last year, I went to SUNY Purchase’s famous event “Pancake Madness” and I had a total blast as per usual. I was greeted at the door with a plate and forced to avoid eye contact with a bunch of scrambled egg troughs before I arrived at the actual pancakes. Last year everything seemed normal until you entered the actual dining room. All of the tables and chairs were cleared and the knives were scattered on the floor. So cool! There was also a pile of food in the middle. The staff quickly alerted us to the new updates! This pancake madness was a themed event–Battle Royale! Much like the beloved Japanese film, the goal was to fight for our food and win a “big prize” at the end if you were the last one standing and if they couldn’t find any of the bodies you murdered. They decided that this was cheaper than doing karaoke with various Terre Ve staff. Hey, I’m all in if it means I get the big prize at the end. I managed to be the last one standing which was really sick, but all I got was a big ass t-shirt with a batman logo on it and it was bloodstained…not cool purchase. Right when I was about to collect my prize, the body I hid in the mini muffins fell out so they gave me the Hamilton t-shirt instead which was for some second place loser. I am not a second place loser Purchase. Next year I’ll have to hide the body behind the cantaloupe.