9 out of 10 Misogynists Agree: Sexism Wouldn’t Be Such a Problem if Women Weren’t Such Bitches All The Time

In a recent poll done outside many of our nation’s gyms, bars, and Ed Hardy T-shirt shops, it has been reported that a majority of male misogynists would tone with their sexism if women would just tone with their bitchiness like, just once.

“It actually isn’t that hard to understand” says resident Long Island douchebag Justin Griffths “If all women would just stop moaning and complaining about every little thing, like their mascara running out or their nails getting chipped, then maybe I’ll respect them as human beings”. He then proceeded to walk into his favorite liquor shop, and yelled at the staff for over 3 hours over his favorite brand of beer being sold out. If you looked closely, you could see the irony go right over his head.

Another man, 26 year old hugless, kissless incel Hugh Francis, also has many negative opinions towards an entire gender.

“All women have such a nasty, bitchy attitude it’s no wonder they’re second class citizens. I once told a girl that I loved her and she meant the world to me, and she didn’t say it back! She just kept nagging and nagging! Saying things like ‘Uhhh… it’s 3 in the morning, how did you get into my house? I thought my closet door was locked. I’m calling the police!’ There are so many things I want to say to her. You know, if I was allowed within 50 feet of her. Heartless cunt.”

Francis also described being “humiliated” and “publicly shamed” by actress Sarah Hyland, model Katelyn Runck, and professional wrestler Alexa Bliss. While he never had any actual in-person encounters with any of these women, he did leave hundreds upon hundreds of carefully crafted Instagram comments about their boobs, asses, and the things he’d do to them in way WAY more detail than anyone asked. These women have since blocked him from all of their social media accounts, an act that Francis described as “worse than anything Hitler ever did.” Yes, he actually said that.

Further research indicates that most sexist acts occur since most women do “be shoppin” and “be trippin”. We at PLN tried to reach out to women for comment, but they were too busy filling up malls and bumping into each other after not watching their steps. And you know what? THAT’S OK! Will misogynists ever realize the error of their ways and redeem themselves by treating women like people? Probably not, since learning is such a girly thing to do.

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